Everyone knows about the ‘honeymoon stage’, but after the ‘honeymoon stage’, comes guess what, the ‘power struggle stage’. No matter how secure this person showed up during the ‘honeymoon stage’ the ‘power struggle stage’ is where most relationships fall apart. This is when the anxiety and the withdrawal usually starts. This is when an avoidant starts to take more time replying to your texts and become less engaged, communication wise. This is when the anxious person starts to demand more time and becomes more protesting about what they need, key word, this is all ways to get our needs met.
A couple of high level tips on how to navigate this stage, something you can say as the avoidant and the anxious person. For the avoidant, you can say something like: ‘hey I'm starting to really feel like I'm losing myself in this relationship. I just need a little bit of space, but I'm not leaving you and I haven't lost any interest in you, I just need time to regroup’. For the anxious person, say something like: ‘I noticed that things have changed, you've become less engaged. For me, what it brings up is anxiety. It's making me feel like you're pulling away and like you don't want this. I know this is not your issue, but I would really appreciate a little reassurance that you understand’.
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